LeVaux interviewed a professional taster who, he says, considers Hellmann’s “a member of an exclusive group of products that are so refined and sophisticated that it’s hard for the average palate to break them down into their component flavors.” You don’t taste egg in Hellmann’s, the taster explained. You don’t taste oil, or vinegar: “All the flavors blend together. They’re balanced. Nothing sticks out. Everything is appropriate.”

Hellmann’s/Best Foods is the perfect condiment for sandwiches, burgers, and hot dogs. It turns any ordinary food and makes it ten times better.

About 22 years ago, when I was in 8th grade, I used to sell the ham sandwiches my mom packed for my lunch to my friend Shaun. It wasn’t that I was trying to make money or that I didn’t enjoy the sandwiches, I knew that Shaun absolutely LOVED the sandwiches my mom made. He’d give me his lunch money, anywhere from $3 to $5, for each sandwich, which was enough for me to go buy a school lunch and have change afterwards for the soda machine.

At the time I knew what made those sandwiches so good, but I had a ready, willing buyer and didn’t want to share the secret sauce. Shaun’s family was a Kraft mayo family.