There are five categories of cart users:

Returners. These people always return their carts to the receptacle regardless of how far away they’ve parked or what the weather is like. They feel a sense of obligation and/or feel badly for the people responsible for collecting the carts.

Never Returners. People who never return their carts. They believe it’s someone else’s job to get the carts or the supermarket’s responsibility, and show little regard for where the carts are left.

Convenience Returners. People who will return their carts if they parked close to the receptacle, or if they see a cart attendant.

Pressure Returners. People who will return their carts only if the cart attendant is present or if the adjacent car’s owner is present, which means they don’t have an easy avenue for abandoning their carts.

Child-Driven Returners. These are people with children who view it as a game to return carts, often riding them back to the receptacle or pushing them into the stacked lines.

I’m a Returner. As a person who cares for his cars and who is a decent human being, there is nothing more infuriating than finding damage to your car caused by a negligent cart returner. I typically park at the far ends of a parking lot (to avoid stray carts and those assholes with no concern while opening their car doors) and as I’m walking to the store entrance will occasionally collect and return stray carts, especially those that will cause damage to a car.

There really isn’t an acceptable excuse not to return a cart. Disabled or have a child with you? Ask for assistance. Raining or poor weather? Suck it up. Someone else’s job? Stop being a lazy prick.